Use Your Loaf!
... a solution focused exercise
Today I’m bringing you a little self-help in a solution focused style! We won’t dive in the deep end so I’ll just ask you to pick a small niggle in your life … an errand you’ve been putting off or a cupboard that needs sorting. Have a think about it … you might feel a few tricky emotions like frustration or anxiety. It’s OK to feel like that, because that’s how you’re feeling! Now what can we do about it? Well for a start, let’s not focus on that problem, or even how you’re going to tackle it. What?! How are things going to be fixed if we don’t do that, eh? Bear with me. Let’s focus on how things will be once it’s been sorted. What difference will it make? How will it help? How will that make you feel? What will you say? What will friends or family notice? What other things will you do now the problem has been solved? Close your eyes and really immerse yourself in the positives you’ll enjoy once the problem has been solved. Take your time.
… how do you feel? If that still seems a bit odd, let’s pretend your issue was that you needed a loaf of bread.
What difference will it make once you’ve got it? ‘I’d make myself a sandwich.’
How will it help? ‘It’s more healthy than the snacks I usually grab.'
How will that make you feel? ‘Like I’m taking control of my wellbeing.’
What will you say? ‘Yum.’
What will people notice? ‘I’m happier making better choices rather than worrying and complaining about poor ones.’
What other things will you do? ‘I’d invite my friend round for lunch in the garden. I’ve not seen them for ages.’
How will that help? etc …
Now imagine a nice session of trance where we reinforce those positive feelings. And that’s just a loaf! Would it have helped to know why you ran out of bread in the first place, or where you'll buy it?! Many therapies are problem focused, which can work well but can also trap individuals in cycles of negative thinking. By trusting that you do have all the resources you need to resolve your problems, the SF approach is incredibly empowering without examining the causes of issues unless it’s helpful to you. This can work particularly well in cases of trauma etc, but many clients find it liberating. How might it help you?